charms_4_YOU's Xanga

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 20:18:16 GMT

missed me? who am i kiddin right? anyways just wanted to type something up....will post up pics of VA trip as soon as i get a chance... oh and i'm on vacation again my BOSS is in ST. MAARTEN for a medical/dental trip. They are checking out all the tourist if they are all sane and still have all their teeth in tact....j.k.!

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 18:30:17 GMT

Held

by Natalie Grant

album: Awaken (2005)

Two months is too little. 
They let him go. 
They had no sudden healing. 
To think that providence would 
Take a child from his mother while she prays 
Is appalling. 

Who told us we'd be rescued? 
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares? 
We're asking why this happens 
To us who have died to live? 
It's unfair. 

Chorus: 
This is what it means to be held. 
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life 
And you survive. 
This is what it is to be loved. 
And to know that the promise was 
When everything fell we'd be held. 

This hand is bitterness. 
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow. 
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow. 

(Chorus) 
This is what it means to be held. 
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life 
And you survive. 
This is what it is to be loved. 
And to know that the promise was 
When everything fell we'd be held. 

Bridge: 
If hope is born of suffering. 
If this is only the beginning. 
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior? 

(Chorus) 
This is what it means to be held. 
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life 
And you survive. 
This is what it is to be loved. 
And to know that the promise was 
When everything fell we'd be held.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Tue, 10 May 2005 22:39:49 GMT

WITH HOPE By Steven Curtis Chapman - SPEECHLESS album

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

ahhhh the perfect song for mom......belated happy mother's day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay...this is obviously not random thoughts ...its been in my head ....
IT would be great to have a spiritual family that is encouraging to each of us. It would be great to be able to chose that special spiritual family. It would be great to have a group of youth to be ALL on FIRE for Him. But we can't force all to be that way especially if we ourselves can't even survive on our own. If we see how people really don't have interest....yes you know who you are....i mean how can we revive the dying when we really don't have that excitement ourselves. just opinions k? yah know I love yah! It is discouraging but there are times that I know we have to care for our spiritual growth first is that being selfish? No I don't think so but we have to be able to revive ourselves first and truly be able to focus on Him. Let us not have the faith that only goes along when others have that same faith. No matter where we really are, no matter who we are with, no matter what we should always have the faith and the hope. I just hope that we all find where we stand....is the foundation set up by ourselves with the support of others? Do we have a foundation set up by others that once they are all gone our foundation would collapse? or do we have a foundation set up by GOD?

hmmmmmm well my 2 cents! What's your foundation?

Monday, April 18, 2005

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 22:12:17 GMT

i would have typed an entry sooner but I was too lazy....So the question is how'd it go?

THURSDAY NIGHT: cooked a feast embotido, pochero, chiken adobo, spaghetti sauce and chicken with asparagus. am not allowed to do any housework after surgery so figured gotta cook!

7:30AM got up and got ready to bring germaine to school, not allowed to eat since midnight not even a drink of water!

9:30AM got to my dads house to leave Carla G.

10AM headed to St. Vincent's to get poked, drugged, and questioned.

10:30AM got on the good looking gowns 2 of them so none could see my ASSet! and waited....

11:30AM still waiting......started reading the book i brought.

12:30AM prayed for by hubby!....hmmm...i'm still waiting i was scheduled for 1130 though and almost finished with the book....my tummy gurgled and started hurling at me!!!!

okay so i got tired of checkin out the time and just waited for Dr. Reilly to show up and he finally did......

So I signed all the necessary paperwork and talked to all the necessary doctors and was transported to the O.R.

I was told I was going to go to Aruba and start munching on some samozas...but the flight was on hold due to my veins not cooperating much and as the doctor commented i might have left them behind by accident along with my bathing suit! Alas they found a good one and punctured me while i was holding onto Dr. Reilly's fingers throughout my flight. The gasmask was on and I was told to inhale deeply. They where still talking to me and the next thing i knew the anasthesiologist was telling me something in the likes of my throat or tract was small that it was hard to put the tube down my throat..."okay" i say but i was so heavily drugged that i didn't remember any of my moments at aruba!

I was in and out of my sleepy state and asked the nurse to take of my gas mask as i was about to hurl...and hurl i did, coughed it all up and then dozed off again. I was told i was going home so i gotta go get transported to another room along with the other ambulatory patients. The nurse was kind enough to give me nausea medication and pain medication but ECK the feeling was ECK!!! I was totally high and seriously I didn't like any part of it. I even told my husband that it is so easy for me to be lazy anyday that I don't need any drugs to bring me to that point....AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS WAY...maybe?

I was then asked to finally sit down and i tried leaving my eyes open but my drug infused body would not cooperate so my eyes just closed but my mind was working .i hear everything! The musical notes that those machines play, it seemed so fascinating at that time..it sounded like i was in Teletubbie land with all the beeping that I was just waiting for Po to show up and lead me away in his scooter!

The lady then told me to get up and put on my clothes. I actually managed to put on everything by myself and then i sat again to wait for gerry's call. Every ring of that phone made my eyes open wide in anticipation hoping it was him so i could just lay in bed and doze off happily in dreamland!

7:30PMish Finally the lady transporter showed up and in my mind i was so giddy and excited but i don't think that was conveyed well. My head is soooooooooo heavy i just can't keep it up. Gerry waited in the main lobby and finally headed home.

9:30ish PM i wanted to eat but dizzyness got the best of me and so i just laid down and slept.....and slept.......and slept.......and slept until about the next night. my one and a half days flew by without anything to eat except for water and TYLENOL...yup that was the only thing prescribed to me...TYLENOL!

7PM ate with the family.

Sunday 9ish AM i took a bath.......was dizzy still but i had a quick one none the less. Laid down again afterwards. My body was aching after all that sleep ...it sucked! but all in all i'm okay I didn't go to church...lame excuse and the only thing that comes to mind was my mom. I'm such a sissy!

Had a few visitors with goodies like My father in law and tita lissa. RiBRaB with KFC and the Sta. Ana (Ian). well I guess I'll update you when I see my doctor Thursday. Thanks for all the Prayers! and all i ask is Forgive me Lord for not making it this sunday! Sorry for letting you down too, Mom!

Friday, April 08, 2005

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 03:29:33 GMT

its been ages...Ooooh how i missed this space...LoL! Okay FRIENDSTER BLOGS SUCK....ehehehe maybe one day there would be more improvement ..... reason for being MIA: yeah well spell B-U-S-Y!

Updates...

We are currently on the lookout for prospective HOMEOWNERS....we are thinking of movin on out of our first home...any one interested? 3 bedroom house, fully finished basement, 1 and 3/4 bath...formal dining, galley kitchen....anyone?

UTI SUCKS!!!!

SUMMER is on its way finally...can't wait to go to virginia!!!!!!

My sister in law is getting married in a month!

and lastly but sadly not the greatest of all news but In God's hands is where I will always be...

i'll be a bit more dramatic and start from the very beginning it's all up to you to keep on reading....

okay...i went to see my OB- Dr. Reilly - November of '04 and told him of mom passing away and that he previously removed DERMOID CYSTS in my left ovaries when I gave birth to Carla Giana in October '01. He then told me to go for TVS - trans vaginal sonogram - ECK sounds ECK! so I finally got the chance to do it last month...the sound of the name doesn't come close to the experience (due to reader's stomach content I will not describe what has transpired in that sonogram room)...so on with the story. I received a call about three weeks ago saying i have to go see REILLY to discuss the results...doesn't sound to great and because of histroy i feared for the worst. I come in and waited for a good 45 minutes before finally being seen by my good doctor who just came from another emergency across the street. I haven't seen him in a long time coz he's always out delivering more babies. Finally got to see him and after all the formalites of haven't been seeing each other, he explained to me that there is a 2cm x 2cm x 2cm dermoid cyst in my right ovaries and it needs to be taken out within 6 - 8 weeks. After discussing for a few more minutes and sharing some stories my appointment was done and I was to set up my OR appointment. The gracious Office manager then told me on the 15th...and I go..."uhm 15th of what?"...of April of course not this week but next. so there you go I'm going for surgery on the 15th to take out my self repro egg ...it has some psychological problems...just making things light..i think i have tried to make up too many theories as to why i have them...it's in the genes non the less and all the women out there who started there menstrual flow needs to see one especially if there is history in the family.

so story finished pray for me! and Happy allergy season! *sneeze*

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 01:22:59 GMT

FRIENDSTERS got blog....so is this the end of this...i doubt...i can't help but stay to read on everybody's entry...how nosy am i hahaha...well i just say i enjoy everything that i read here and learn from them too.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 12:55:13 GMT

A smart thing to write about....BLEH!
my mind just went blank LoL

Updates: nothing really just home and work and church. SKI TRIP this coming saturday so far we only have like 10 people we are so not making the cut for group rates unless.......so Come on guys invite a friend or two or FIVE okay time to get busy again!

If truth be told there are too many questions in my head and when does that stop? Why do we have that notion that our lives suck? Why do we keep on pondering that everything sucks just because we don't have a special someone or all the things around us just suck! Does it ever occur to you that we are the ones who make it SUCK? Is it so hard to just be thankful even of all the little things? Why is there so much hate? Why can't we just look at whatever little love that we can have and just make the most out of it? Why do we always find the worst in people instead of recognizing the good? I guess I am not the person to be talking about these things it just makes me realize the good in my life when you have encountered families who are mourning because they just lost their 13 year old daughter or that their 19 year old son just committed suicide, or the lady who gets raped just because she pressed the unlock button for her car after doing the groceries, or the family whose home just burned down. That's what I get for working as a receptionist you get to find out about all these things and just be thankful and to be more careful. Never take for granted your loved ones, do not dwell on the petty hateful things. and our PARENTS yeah the ones who struggle at their work to just provide for us even though we truly don't deserve it because of what we think or have thought about them. and KIDS if you got a J-O-B yea that thing...no matter how little you make spend a little on family even if it means bringing home dinner from KFC or buying a weeks worth of soda for everyone. Those who make a wee bit more than the average teenager and you still live at home, pick up one utility bill or two...never will your mom or dad ask you for that but put your foot forward and grow up... if not move out!

You like my train of thought? hahahah i don't think it goes or ends well but yeah the point is don't take your loved ones for granted, focus more on the good and that if you work ..help out if you are still living at home and if you are alone and parked in a dark place don't press unlock unless you are close and press it just once just so its the driver side that only unlocks. Yeah my train of though ROCKS! LoL

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 20:18:26 GMT

Finally there's SNOW ...am i crazy? i guess but the only good thing about being stuck at home because of a foot of snow is dat i get to catch up with the cleaning....the christmas decorations are packed away although the ones that was outside needs to stay there for a few more days hehehehe.

Wells i thinks thats all i can say how was your SNOW DAY? -=o)

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 23:07:00 GMT

I have a half-ENGLISH half-brother. end of entry!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 13:22:49 GMT

Just finished the book and in the beginning can't seem to get into it and only got to 11 chapters or so (started reading this before christmas). After watching spider-man 2 still couldn't sleep so decided to pick up the book to give it another try and from there wasn't able to put it down until 2:30 am and i said this has to wait tomorrow....and here i am now typing of it and just finished it at 9:15 am ...the book while reading it last night was giving me the creeps ....well with the paintings mentioned visible ...yes it gave me the creeps especially..."MADONNA OF THE ROCKS"..and the detailed description that accompanied it....the mere thought of it......the "zoomed" last supper painted by leonardo da vinci was hair-raising...I can't deny it was really a great mystery book just one page after the other wanting more of it at every turn trying to figure out the riddles and cryptonic messages...it was a good read!

___i had to delete my previous post since pictures didn't show up____