WITH HOPE By Steven Curtis Chapman - SPEECHLESS album

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

ahhhh the perfect song for mom......belated happy mother's day!

i would have typed an entry sooner but I was too lazy....So the question is how'd it go?

THURSDAY NIGHT: cooked a feast  embotido, pochero, chiken adobo, spaghetti sauce and chicken with asparagus. am not allowed to do any housework after surgery so figured gotta cook!

7:30AM got up and got ready to bring germaine to school, not allowed to eat since midnight not even a drink of water!

9:30AM got to my dads house to leave Carla G.

10AM headed to St. Vincent's to get poked, drugged, and questioned.

10:30AM got on the good looking gowns 2 of them so none could see my ASSet! and waited....

11:30AM still waiting......started reading the book i brought.

12:30AM prayed for by hubby!....hmmm...i'm still waiting i was scheduled for 1130 though and almost finished with the book....my tummy gurgled and started hurling at me!!!!

okay so i got tired of checkin out the time and just waited for Dr. Reilly to show up and he finally did......

So I signed all the necessary paperwork and talked to all the necessary doctors and was transported to the O.R. 

I was told I was going to go to Aruba and start munching on some samozas...but the flight was on hold due to my veins not cooperating much and as the doctor commented i might have left them behind by accident along with my bathing suit! Alas they found a good one and punctured me while i was holding onto Dr. Reilly's fingers throughout my flight.  The gasmask was on and I was told to inhale deeply.  They where still talking to me and the next thing i knew the anasthesiologist was telling me something in the likes of my throat or tract was small that it was hard to put the tube down my throat..."okay" i say but i was so heavily drugged that i didn't remember any of my moments at aruba!

              I was in and out of my sleepy state and asked the nurse to take of my gas mask as i was about to hurl...and hurl i did, coughed it all up and then dozed off again.  I was told i was going home so i gotta go get transported to another room along with the other ambulatory patients.  The nurse was kind enough to give me nausea medication and pain medication but ECK the feeling was ECK!!!  I was totally high and seriously I didn't like any part of it.  I even told my husband that it is so easy for me to be lazy anyday that I don't need any drugs to bring me to that point....AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS WAY...maybe?

        I was then asked to finally sit down and i tried leaving my eyes open but my drug infused body would not cooperate so my eyes just closed but my mind was working .i hear everything! The musical notes that those machines play, it seemed so fascinating at that time..it sounded like i was in Teletubbie land with all the beeping that I was just waiting for Po to show up and lead me away in his scooter!  

        The lady then told me to get up and put on my clothes.  I actually managed to put on everything by myself and then i sat again to wait for gerry's call.  Every ring of that phone made my eyes open wide in anticipation hoping it was him so i could just lay in bed and doze off happily in dreamland!

      7:30PMish Finally the lady transporter showed up and in my mind i was so giddy and excited but i don't think that was conveyed well.  My head is soooooooooo heavy i just can't keep it up.  Gerry waited in the main lobby and finally headed home.

      9:30ish PM i wanted to eat but dizzyness got the best of me and so i just laid down and slept.....and slept.......and slept.......and slept until about the next night.   my one and a half days flew by without anything to eat except for water and TYLENOL...yup that was the only thing prescribed to me...TYLENOL!

   7PM ate with the family.

     Sunday 9ish AM i took a bath.......was dizzy still but i had a quick one none the less.  Laid down again afterwards. My body was aching after all that sleep ...it sucked! but all in all i'm okay I didn't go to church...lame excuse and the only thing that comes to mind was my mom.   I'm such a sissy! 

Had a few visitors with goodies like My father in law and tita lissa.  RiBRaB with KFC and the Sta. Ana (Ian).  well I guess I'll update you when I see my doctor Thursday.  Thanks for all the Prayers! and all i ask is Forgive me Lord for not making it this sunday! Sorry for letting you down too, Mom!

its been ages...Ooooh how i missed this space...LoL!  Okay FRIENDSTER BLOGS SUCK....ehehehe maybe one day there would be more improvement .....  reason for being MIA:  yeah well spell  B-U-S-Y! 

Updates...

We are currently on the lookout for prospective HOMEOWNERS....we are thinking of movin on out of our first home...any one interested?  3 bedroom house, fully finished basement, 1 and 3/4 bath...formal dining, galley kitchen....anyone?

UTI SUCKS!!!!

SUMMER is on its way finally...can't wait to go to virginia!!!!!!

My sister in law is getting married in a month!

and lastly but sadly not the greatest of all news but In God's hands is where I will always be...

    i'll be a bit more dramatic and start from the very beginning it's all up to you to keep on reading....

    okay...i went to see my OB- Dr. Reilly - November of '04 and told him of mom passing away and that he previously removed DERMOID CYSTS in my left ovaries when I gave birth to Carla Giana in October '01.  He then told me to go for TVS - trans vaginal sonogram - ECK sounds ECK! so I finally got the chance to do it last month...the sound of the name doesn't come close to the experience (due to reader's stomach content I will not describe what has transpired in that sonogram room)...so on with the story.  I received a call about three weeks ago saying i have to go see REILLY to discuss the results...doesn't sound to great and because of histroy i feared for the worst.  I come in and waited for a good 45 minutes before finally being seen by my good doctor who just came from another emergency across the street.  I haven't seen him in a long time coz he's always out delivering more babies. Finally got to see him and after all the formalites of haven't been seeing each other, he explained to me that there is a 2cm  x 2cm x 2cm dermoid cyst in my right ovaries and it needs to be taken out within 6 - 8 weeks.  After discussing for a few more minutes and sharing some stories my appointment was done and I was to set up my OR appointment.  The gracious Office manager then told me on the 15th...and I go..."uhm 15th of what?"...of April of course not this week but next.  so there you go I'm going for surgery on the 15th to take out my self repro egg ...it has some psychological problems...just making things light..i think i have tried to make up too many theories as to why i have them...it's in the genes non the less and all the women out there who started there menstrual flow needs to see one especially if there is history in the family. 

so story finished pray for me! and Happy allergy season! *sneeze*